For Women and Girls Only

For Older Women (Every woman is older than someone)

Who am I?  How would you answer that question?

Who am I?  I am Sandy, woman, created in the image of God.

How then shall I live?  There is so much confusion in this generation about a woman’s purpose that I beg you not to stop reading as I mention what God’s words in Titus 2: 3 -5 say.  The Lord elevates a role for women that is as important today as it was when it was written.  She is to be a teacher of good things.  Her emphasis is loving relationships and strength of character.

“Older women, likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.”

Our identity as female is different than our role:  a woman is uniquely designed to nurture and nourish.  Our Lord’s way for caring for precious children is to provide a safe home for them.  That home would have a father who provides loving leadership. And a wife who knows how to follow to create peace in the home.

Unmarried women are nurturers and nourishers of others in their families of origin and in the workplace.  Two childless Aunts were the ones who loved me when I was sure I was adopted.  After all, that must have been why I felt so distanced from my mother.

This is radical stuff today.  In many homes where 2 wounded people are married to each other, trying to raise a family, all the pain, fear, and anger from their past leaks out, breaking up families and creating emptiness for children and resulting struggles.

Most of the book of Titus is about the qualifications for male leaders and bond slaves. But nestled in the middle of Paul’s letter to Titus is this sentence I just quoted.  It has always encouraged me.  I am one of those women who wanted to create a home, raise children and live happily ever after.

I didn’t know it would be so hard.  So much pain, so much waiting for God to intervene.  In order to live these words out…. kindness, love, reverence, subject to my husband…. etc.  I found I needed the Lord more than I had formerly realized.   I needed His guidance, His word, His Spirit.  I have needed the cross as a place of forgiveness, repentance and gratitude.

My story of struggle with my mother, made me long to be a better mother.  So you can imagine the pain when I discovered that being a “nice girl” was not necessarily a good mother.  In order to be a good mother, I needed to have a healthy marriage.  And that has been the hardest part of my journey.

How then shall I live?  I live in the awareness of the desires of my heart, sorrow over lost dreams and failure, wanting more and yet being content where I am right now living with hope for more.

I live aware of the stories of other women:  in the Bible, in books, in my life.  I am the older woman trying to live out my legacy teaching good things…. to encourage you. The older woman is greatly needed in this generation to love:  your husband, your children, your grandchildren, and other women. And other people’s children.

Yes, I have failed, but I am not a failure.  The good news is that our Redeemer can make our Failure The Back Door to Success as Erwin Lutzer says in his book by the same title.

Finish well.  It is never too late to love well.   I am 80 years old.  Yikes.

About the author: OHM Ministry Team

7 comments to “For Women and Girls Only”

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  1. Michelle Reineck - June 16, 2014

    Love this Sandy. What honesty, what depth of character. What hope for all of us.

  2. Laurie Fredericks - June 16, 2014

    Sandy,
    The words in your last two paragraphs remind me of some verses from Hosea that have given me some hope. Our valley of Achor (trouble) becomes our doorway of hope.

    Hosea 2:14-16 New International Version (NIV)
    14 “Therefore I am now going to allure her;
    I will lead her into the wilderness
    and speak tenderly to her.
    15 There I will give her back her vineyards,
    and will make the Valley of Achor [trouble] a door of hope.
    There she will respond[b] as in the days of her youth,
    as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
    16 “In that day,” declares the Lord,
    “you will call me ‘my husband’;
    you will no longer call me ‘my master.[c]’

  3. Donna Albinson - June 17, 2014

    Thank you Sandy, good words for me today.

  4. Pat Keller - June 17, 2014

    Sandy, you have been a beacon for me for many years. I love to read about and listen to your heart. You are a woman of grace and honor…a woman I call friend.

  5. Mark Bonham - June 17, 2014

    You have lived these verses well. I can attest to that. And I know you have been tested in every area. But that is why you are credible and you have wisdom to offer that is sorely needed. Thanks for these good words.

  6. Mark Bonham - June 17, 2014

    Sorry, I just saw the heading that this was for women and girls only. Still, we men need to hear from wise women or we will be fools.

  7. Ali - June 18, 2014

    You’re doing a good job Sandy. Thank you for loving us all well and for giving so much of yourself, but most of all for encouraging honesty in inevitable failure x

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